personal stock stories 2

A very interesting day at the studio...

For the past two years I'd been toying with an image idea involving a baby. Now that my infant granddaughter, Lucy, was old enough to sit up by herself, I figured this was the time to pursue the shot.

I had been leasing out part of my office and studio space to a remodeling company which employs several construction workers. When I arrived at the studio on a cool March morning the construction crew was milling around in the parking lot while on their lunch hour. As I raised the garage door to push their wheelbarrow and other junk outside, one of their crew called out, "Hey Ron, what are you going to take pictures of today?" I replied straight-faced, "Nudes!" Well, that's all it took-- It was just like that E. F. Hutton commercial--it made all their heads turn at once. That their fantasies were running rampant is probably partially my fault. In my office is a large photograph that I had composited of a nude woman running through a mushroom forest.

When I turned to go back inside, one of the guys asked tentatively, "Do you think she'd mind if we watched?" I stood thoughtfully for a moment then replied, "Actually knowing her, she probably wouldn't mind at all!" As I was lowering the door I said, "Well fellows, I've got to get the heat on so she'll be more comfortable." Feeling a minuscule sense of guilt, I asked myself; Is this anyway to treat your fan club? "Yeh," I replied. Serves them right for messing with a photographer that dosn't spend too much time dwelling in the real world.

As I was setting up the strobes and thinking the fun was over, I heard a lot of racket in the darkened rear part of the studio. The noise was about eight of those good old boys dragging chairs in and sitting down in anticipation of the show. Even though I told them the model wasn't due for another half hour they assured me that it would be ok with their boss if they extended their lunch hour.

After a few minutes one of them perked up and said," I've got a girlfriend who would probably model for nothing!" Struggling to keep a straight face I said, "Thanks, but this is a very important shoot and I need to rely on professional talent this time. That's why I'm using Lucy." Minutes passed then another one offered, "Would you like me to go out and get some drinks?" I answered back, "I don't think that's necessary, but what would really be nice is if we had a portable stereo. You know, to help get her in the mood." Well, all of a sudden one of the guys jumped up and said with sparking enthusiasm, "I've got a great stereo in my pickup truck! Would you like me to back it up to the door?" "Nah," I said, "lets not do that."

As I'm leaning across my plexiglass table popping the strobes with my flash meter, I hear one of them ask, "How old is she?" Thinking fast, I replied, "Well, I asked her that question just the other day but she never would say. You know how women are about that age thing."

As I worked to set up the lighting, one of my strobes started firing prematurely, I got to thinking 'maybe it's just due to escalating hormone levels in the room.' The helpful hints just kept coming from the expectant audience. "Can I help you hold the camera?" one guy asked. "Thanks, but I can't let you do that. If I don't have that camera in my hands I could lose complete control." I said.

As a photographer it's arduous enough to concentrate on the lighting and composition. Especially when most of the elements of the composition are not even available yet. Couple that with trying to prevent bloodshed (mine) from a crowd potentially meaner than a bunch of disgruntled hockey fans. Luckily, the humor of the situation overcame my fear and I was able to function and proceeded with my task.

Finally my daughter came through the studio door holding the infant and headed straight for the dressing room. After watching them go by there was a lengthy pause and one guy said, "Ah..., was that Lucy?" While clutching the heaviest light stand in the room and pretending nothing out of the ordinary, I replied nonchalantly, "Yeh, that was Lucy."

Too embarrassed to even talk among themselves, they just sort of left the room one after the other. With poor Lucy's ego probably devastated from seeing those guys leave before she had a chance to dance on the table, we proceeded with the shoot. It turned out that the only other excitement remaining was the little yellow puddle left on the plexiglass table.